I once heard that going to church was like having a boring office job and I believe in the same conversation I heard this person say that church was not intended to be fun, just like a desk job. Didn’t really think about it during the conversation, but what I should have said in regards to that comment is, going to a church that is just like a boring job does not seem like it would be life giving, or enhance your relationship with God at all. It seems lifeless and if that is the case, than what is the point other than fulfilling man’s obligations to attend a building? I find it quite interesting when so many people do certain things just because they think they are obligated to do so. And who makes them go but themselves, and to what is the purpose other than to complete a task or fulfill what they think is required of them… In comparison, going to work is exactly the same as attending a church building unless one is getting real life from their congregation and find it fulfilling. I remember telling my brother that I thought going to a church was boring and had become more of a pressure to conform to those who demanded it than anything that had to do with my personal relationship with the Lord. Getting off of the performance track in my life and stopped keeping up with my perception of God’s love was a hard transition for me. It seemed to be ridiculously hard to just let things go without living in guilt or fear in regards to how much Father truly loved me. I was raised knowing that God loved me unconditionally, but somehow there were always conditions attached to his love and always if ands and buts attached to his love for me. It’s funny, but I am reminded of that Christmas song, ‘Santa Clause is Coming to Town’, “He see’s you when you’re sleeping he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, so you better be good for goodness sake.” In other words, you will be rewarded ‘if’ you are good, and ‘if’ you’re not, than you will get punished and get nothing. This perception of God I deal with all the time, I know Father is a forgiving loving God, (but) when it comes to the mistakes I make and when I blow it, there is fear that tries to take over all the loving thoughts I have of Father. This is when grace comes into the picture. Father knows when we are to mess up and already has forgiven us. This does not mean we are to go ahead and do what our flesh wants, but if we are truly focused on our relationship with our Father than that should be enough incentive to NOT do ‘bad’ things. Yeah, we all will from time to time, but if our heart’s are in the right place than there is not pressure to try to be a good Christian because we are already good in his eyes because of his grace he has bestowed upon us! Awe, now comes the freedom from the pressure to try, try, and try again! I have come to a place in my journey where I no longer try anymore. Frankly, it’s just a waste of time because I know I will never ever, ever be good enough for God, but through his grace and love I am accepted for who I am and that includes my mistakes!
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.