Spiritual Abuse Forum

Hey, I ran across this website called the church abuse and they have a forum; it seems like a ‘safe’ place for those who are recovering and healing from SA.

Feel free to email me personally if anyone needs support or someone just to talk to and who will listen!! I am here!

You are NOT alone in this…

Love In Freedom, Nicole!

http://forum.churchabuse.com

(you will need to copy and paste the web address, I can't seem to get it to post as a link!)

Religious Systems Can Never Take The Place Of God

You are a newcomer at a new christian church, you are invited in with smiles and gratefulness. You are showed the ropes; where the tithing envelope is kept, and what the rules of the church are, and how to 'get involved'. You start to get excited hoping that this time will be different than the last three churches you attended thinking, this is it, this is the one that is different. You filled out all the forms to get involved, you're ready to make a difference. You become so accustomed to how and what your place is, you attend every small group bible study, worship practice, and every worship service. With anticipation and great hope for something different you start to recognize all the similarities in this church compared to the three others you left in search to find the perfect church. You start to get lethargic because you can no longer see the hunger you once had. That hunger was for God, that hunger that was never satisfied by the Holy Spirit , no matter how hard you worked and tried, it never came. You became so tired, you had nothing else to give to God, because you gave it to others who took and took, and never thought twice about what they were doing to your relationship with God. You start to pull back realizing that this is the only way you are going to survive and find God again! Elders of the church start to realize that you're not involved as you once were, they start to question you and have concern. They offer to take you out to lunch and 'help'. You comply and go out to lunch. They question your faith, and why you aren't tithing as much as you were in prior months. They ask you why you quit going to Monday, Wednesday and Friday night small groups bible studies. You are honest and sincere, and tell them that you are exhausted, and needed a break, and can't seem to see God in the midst of how busy you have been in the church. They are astonished at your reply, so they muster up every scripture verse to pressure you into not giving up and still follow through at what your calling is. They manipulate you into servicing their system and trying harder. They don't try to provide any encouragement but tell you that if you do what you need to do in the church you will be closer to God again and if you don't, God will not be close to you and will punish you. They then wrap up the lunch meeting with a prayer asking God to give you strength to do His work in the church. You leave empty and hurting more than when you first got there. You are alone in this, no one understands your desire to know God on a different level of expectancy. You then leave this church with hopes, again, to find the one church that will fulfill your relationship with God!

Have You Felt Like This Before? I Have!

"Broken" by Scott Stapp

Why are we overcome with fear?
What if I told you that fear isn't real.
Why are we overcome with death?
What if I told you my friends your doubt
You could live without!

There is a question I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth and learn to love again

Do you know...what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know

One more question...I know time is dear
Is what the world speaks of love really real?
The answers not of this world but very clear
Look above to find love and you found eternal life

Street corner preachers you've heard before
Friendly advice just gets thrown out the door
There is a question that I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth...and learn to love again

Do you know...what it feels like to be broken and used?
Scared and confused
Yes I know...what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know

I'm Broken!


You can listen to this song at the bottom of my playlist!

It's incedibly powerful...

My Inspiring, Fun/Loving and Indifferent Music Menu

Music plays a huge role in my life, most of my thoughts about music are from Father and how he relates to me. It’s hard to compile all of my thoughts about music into a couple of sentence so bare with me while I go on and on about how music effects my everyday life.

Most of where my inspiration and depth of love for Father comes from music and it doesn’t have to be Christian, and honestly most of what I love is not Christian music. Ever since I was probably in high school or younger I found some pretty inspirational music from the band Creed. Creed is not a Christian band; they are secular alternative/rock band that started in the mid-to late 90’s. Father used them to open my eyes to how sensitive I am to life behind the microphone. Meaning, what inspired this artist to create such amazing lyrics. If you search on you tube, you will find some amazing songs that Creed has written and even some interviews that Scott Stapp, the lead singer has done! Very intelligent and an amazing musician!
It’s all about the mood and I love all different Genres of music anywhere from soundtracks to hard rock music! My mood swings are wacked because I could go from soft classical soundtrack music to some heavy metal hard stuff in one day! Sounds bizarre I know, but that just how I role! LOL!

Other Musicians and bands that I love and have inspired me are: Benjamin Gate, Coldplay, Enya, One Republic, Pete Stuart, R.E.M. Red, Sheryl Crowe, Stevie Wonder, Snow Patrol, Sade, Skillet, Switchfoot, Five Iron Frenzy, and Vanessa Carlton. The most inspiring and moving songs are from Benjamin Gate. They are a Christian band and I have been listening to them for years. They broke up a couple of years ago, but Adrienne, the lead singers voice is the most amazing voice I have ever heard, she gives me the chills and her lyrics are the most heart wrenching lyrics I have ever come across! She has written so many songs that just bring me up close and personal to how I feel about Father and who he is in my life. BG is definitely up there in my book.

Movie soundtracks that I like are: Braveheart, Chronicles of Narnia, Gladiator, Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and The Notebook. Great music to completely chill and get lost in! I love it! All of these movies are great, but they wouldn’t be as good if they didn’t have their soundtracks to back em’ up!

Now to the indifferent and fun/loving music: Ace of Base, Amberlin, Andy Hunter, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Brandy, Chevelle, Dave Matthews Band, Duran Duran, Matchbox Twenty, Michael Buble’, Michael Jackson, Plumb, Royksopp, Squirrel Nut Zippers, and Evanescens. I think all of these bands are great to listen to! Royksopp and Andy Hunter are more of electronic/techno bands, fun and awesome to travel on long trips with. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy’s and Squirrel Nut Zippers are both Hyper Jazz music! Fun stuff!

Well, that about wraps up my music menu! If anyone has questions ask away! I would be glad to elaborate upon your request!

Yahoo Messenger!

Hey all I just got a yahoo messenger ID and wanted to see if you all were serious about wanting to meet up and chat?!?!

If you are you can email me and give me your yahoo ID's and we can start the fellowship chat soon!

Hope to hear from you!

nicole.hebert83@yahoo.com

In Freedom, Nicole!

Obedience Will Follow

Is God more concerned with us being obedient to him, or having a relationship with us that flourishes to something great and overwhelming? I have thought about this and it seems that many christains seem to focus on what we “have” to do for Father and “obey” everything he says than engaging in an authentic relationship with him. If you think about it a servant can’t have a real and deep relationship with his master because the rules and regulations of the job seperates the connection that they could have with one another. If I treat my christian life like a job, then it is looked completely different than if I treat my Christian life as a precious and organic relationship with my maker that cannot be forced to be anything else than what it is! I have heard it put this way; If we are focused and live like children of the Father, than NOTHING can separate the relationship that is shared and the cool part is, is obedience will follow because we aren’t forced or obligated to obey. That last sentence is so refreshing. The pressure and angst of all the so called ‘christian standards’ fog and destroy a real and amazing relationship with Father that we can experience and with that we wouldn’t want to disapoint our Father because of how important Father has become to us!

I love the freedom and depth of Father’s grace!

We're Finally Moving!

Well, lots have kept me away from the blog world~ We are finally in the process of moving to Durango! Father has provided a place for us down here and I am so happy! We move in this coming weekend! As far as our condo goes, we thought we had a renter last week, but the proporty management company called me last Thursday and said that they haven't completed the renting application and paid the fee so they said they were going to continue showing it to others until someone follows through! Its a process and I am trying to be patient and wait on the Lord about this! Father has a plan I just know it! Anyway, this is why I haven't been roaming around to other blogs and writing on mine!

Have a lot of blog posts I've been thinking about writing and hope I get to writing again soon! Keep com'n back to see what is new I try to keep my blog updated as much as I can!!!

Much Love and Freedom!

-Nicole-