God Gave Us a Name and it isn’t GOD

I have this annoying angst with some people who try to justify their own theologies through convincing and ‘playing God’ through their religious commentaries, it is getting quite old. I usually advance to zoning out when I am faced with this so-called preaching the gospel. When are people going to realize that they are not God, and they are not called to convince me and proclaim the voice of God over me? I have heard it a billion times people say, “God told me to tell you”… Well, I usually reply back flabbergasted saying, who died and made you God? I am usually not quite that forward or rude. I may sound a little short-tempered in this post, but perhaps I am extremely disgusted with religion. Unfortunately, people use religion as their source to control and manipulate people into action. Now I see how non-believers look at all Christians and classify them all into this certain horrible category, and I don’t blame them for doing so. If only non-believers could see me differently than a lot of Christians. I hate that label. Christian. Even if its in the bible and that is what Father has called his people, but lately its such a label that I wish I could erase. I am not talking about my beliefs in Father and my relationship with him or his people, but the name Christian has really given all of us a bad rap. Or perhaps it’s the religion behind the name that has. I would probably feel much differently about the name if it weren’t a name for religious legalists. Does it ever bother you when people ask you what ‘religion’ you are? It does me. It gets under my skin so deep, and I feel like the only reply that I have is, ‘I only have a relationship with a God who loves me and cares for me regardless my sin’. I don’t know maybe Father will give me one that explains where my heart is or maybe I should say where HIS heart is in this!

Does anyone else have a good name to express your relationship with God to others?

What is Church?

A building? The steeple? The pews? The bible?
How about US? You, me, the brother across the street? Yes, yes and yes. We, God’s people are the church. Doesn’t that make sense? Than why is there so much attention on attendance of a building? Why are there so many people concerned in our Christian circles today to build up the definition of church being a building? In recent conversations in Bino’s blog we have talked about the Christian community coming together. I would like to add to that and say that the Christian community is all of us and we are the church. A building doesn’t mean a darn thing to me anymore. Some call it a place of worship, but if you think about it, couldn’t that be said for a lot of other places, our homes, our bedrooms, nature (outdoors). Doesn’t worship only happen when humans are involved anyway? So, if I was to say that I worshiped Father in Starbucks, wouldn’t that count? I am just posing some open-ended questions to boost up more conversations about this subject. Church and Christian community = SAME THING.

What do you think???

Getting Over Myself!

Ever since I found this journey that allows me to be myself with Father freely has really helped me let go of my self-delusions that I used to hold onto. One was guilt. It always played a huge role in my life as I was committed to feeling guilty for every sin that I committed towards Father and family. I would allow it to take such a huge grip that it would kill me to even talk to Father about my sin. I couldn’t do it, I would be miserable over one thing I did for a number of days and not let the thing go. I would allow it to destroy my level of so called integrity and strength that I had. I used to think it was Father punishing me for the sins I committed. It was that ugly and depressing. However, when I entered this newfound life with Father, it became clear to me that it was a battle I put on myself. God had nothing to do with it. It was all about getting over myself and seeing that Father still loved me and wanted to cradle me in his arms. Now, a week or so ago, I was real ugly to my husband, and said unbearable things, it didn’t take long for me to step right back into my delusion of guilt, but as I was praying and releasing my sin to Father, the whole problem vanished and the shame lifted. It was a miracle. I was set free from that guilt trap and from myself to see that Father wanted me to let it go and as I did, I started looking forward.

Big Religion and Big Government

I am probably going to be stepping on some toes in this post, but I just couldn’t help it. After watching the outcome of Super Tuesday it got me all fired up for some reason. Usually when one talks about religion or politics there is usually smoke in the air from the flames coming from some peoples heads, but if you talk about both, politics and religion in the same conversation, warning, their may be a forest fire starting very soon.

As I use the term (big government) I probably give away that I am a republican and believe in small government vs. government control because I believe that we the people can make decisions on our own without the governments input. It isn’t the government’s responsibility to take that away from the people who have rights to decide what is right for them (us). If we give the government an inch they will take a mile or more and that to me is a real problem and that scares me. I blame my husband for such conviction and thought when it comes to politics because he is a real hardheaded republican and gives it much attention. For a while, I would just sit on the sidelines not really having an opinion or giving it much thought, but my husband influence has driven me to the point of actually writing about politics on my blog (go figure).

Religion can look scary to me as well, it portrays to me bondage that deprives me from the liberty that I can have with God. It’s a certain bondage that doesn’t allow freedom in having a relationship with Father and succumbs to obligation or bondage to any laws that reign or take precedence over sharing a relationship with Father. Religion is all about the “me factor” and how well “I” am doing to gain more points in God’s eye than just being who I am for God without keeping track of points and sins. Religion also portrays a sense of having to be responsible for our fellow brothers and sisters. Having accountability partners so man can keep me inline instead of God and having to take on the responsibility to keep an eye on Christians just in case they slip up.

Religion is a lot like the Federal Government. They both are control freaks. They want to take as much away from a person as they can and declares that “they” know best. They portray a sense of wanting others to have a full dependency of trust in the laws they proclaim to be laws and what is or isn’t illegal. Religion or the Federal Government aren’t looking out for my best interest but in the interest of them and takes all the honor and power away from God. Religion and Government in every turn from this point on has rubbed me the wrong way, and will continue to do so.
How does this rub you?

Unity? Is it possible?

Depending on the definition you use for Unity, being on the same page and living in harmony with every brother and sister in the Christian circle to me seems impossible on this earth. I am starting to think that unity will happen in Heaven when everything is perfect and the (definition of unity) will ring true. I am starting to think that unity is something that we can’t make happen, whether we would like to see it happen or not! It seems like trying to make it happen is not worth the effort. I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, quite the contrary, I just think that having unity with every Christian is an unrealistic thought. Can unity be seen in a different light though? Okay this is what I mean. Can’t unity mean for us right now to love each other where they are with the Lord and not throw judgments on each other or not be in relationship with each other if our points of views and walks with Father don’t line up perfectly. All Christians have one thing in common they all proclaim to love the Lord. Isn’t that enough to unify the body of Christ? Our love for Father will bring unity to love each other like Father has love for his church, which is all of us.

Just some open-ended thoughts that still have room to grow. Please add on if you have some thoughts!!

Life is like the weather! It’s so unpredictable…

Okay, I have missed blogging over the last week because we had some family matters to attend to and now I am back on it.

First, I want to say that I was able to meet Jonathan’s extended family and enjoyed every minute of it. I was able to get to know some really wonderful people and the upside is I am now related to them and am really excited about getting to know them hopefully even more. (I love you guys)

Well, I mentioned a couple posts earlier that we were hoping to move to New Mexico to get closer to family, but, (a big but), the winds of change have come and it looks like we are staying put in Golden. Hey, I am okay with that and actually relieved that our life is no longer up in the air. I am going to stay at my job and we are keeping our condo. We tried to rent it out last month but that didn’t happen so that was a real inclination that pointed to our stay. Another reason is my husband landed an awesome contracting job working with someone in California by telecommuting, which means that we could possibly move anywhere we want but for right now we have decided to stay. . .

So, we thought we knew what we were going to do, and how things were going to fall into place with our desire to move down to New Mexico, but Father had other plans and it turned out that moving was not in the forecast after all.

To Be or Not to Be

I have pondered on what it takes to be real with others compared to being honest. I think there is a difference. I think that being real with certain people may make some feel uncomfortable. Being real is having nothing to hide about what I believe in or how I live my life or what I think. Honesty, on the other hand, usually deals with how and what I believe in compared to others points of view.

I have dealt with the thought of what’s wrong with being real and honest with others in love? However, this may be risky, it may break some friendship barriers that are hard to put back together and could cause some pretty ugly fights, which I would rather steer clear from. However, if one thought they had the freedom to be real and honest wouldn’t that seem like more of a natural form of a friendship than walking on eggshells and not saying things for fear of stepping on toes? I have always tried to be an open and honest person as far as my walk with Father and what I think Father is showing me when sharing with others, but usually when a conversation like that happens, it seems like it is only one sided and I am the one usually talking. It’s funny because I catch myself just blabbing and find others just staring. “What does that mean?” I think some may find my relationship with Father and how I live my life “SCARY”. I am okay with that, but I guess I could understand why I don’t get feedback with some folks. So, another way at looking at it, is this doesn’t seem as natural as it looked after seeing some reactions to conversations I have been involved in.

SO, I have learned through some great conversations with Wayne Jacobsen and my parents and great meditation that I need to just meet people where they are and not try to force my realness and honesty on others. It is easy to get back into all that, but God’s realness really comes out when it flows un-forced and naturally. I know from experience that this can happen if I let go of the angst and just learn to be.

It’s a working progress…