We landed in Phoenix AZ on Friday, December 18th. As we were walking through customs to gather our luggage, waiting for our next flight out to take us to Albuquerque, I woke up in a daze. Well, it felt like this the moment that I realized that it was true, that we were actually in America. My country. It was bizarre at first and even surreal. The excitement built up, and it felt like a heavy burden of weight fell off my shoulders. I was home! Leaving Costa Rica for the first time in four months was a crazy feeling! Not being exposed to anything but Costa Rica has put me in somewhat of a bubble. The things that impacted me were, the language barriers we faced on a daily bases, working and supporting a school that is driven and run by very corrupt and low characters. Going to the beach on the weekends and hanging out with people at work, being super hot and sweaty every single time I stepped outside, going to the grocery store knowing to find a limited supply of options for food . Now, these are not all negative impacts, but just things that overtook my life in many ways. Experiencing a different country from what I have always known, there were bound to be some of these impacts, but, I guess I didn’t realize how direct and ‘in your face’ these would become. Spending time at the beach is something I enjoy! I love to walk on the beach and watch the sunset! These are the good memories that will be cherished and remembered for years to come!
It just so happens that this trip to Costa Rica was not a dream, but rather, and story of my reality. In my head I tried imagine what it was like to finally be home in the states and getting the hell out of Costa Rica because the bubble was getting to be way more cramped and claustrophobic than what I could take!
Since being home and sharing stories with friends and family about our trip and experience, I have been able to better visualize what we experienced and trying hard to put it into perspective and find reasoning behind it all! I probably couldn’t have written a positive blog prior to coming home because being in the midst of it and not getting the relief that was necessary, it would have been laced through negativity! This is a big reason why I haven’t written a blog in a long time! I had no motivation, but just extreme exhaustion with our situation… Until the bubble popped!
Today, I spent some time with a great friend from Durango! She and I had a great visit, and just being able to talk to people about our experience and getting to hear others reactions, has been super helpful and it has really made me think! I am not quite done processing things yet, and still am in search of finding the reasoning and purpose behind it all! These things take time so, bare with me, and I am sure as I am showed, I will share!
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.