Double Standards

I ran into a movie trailer today that a friend posted about abortion and how people are tricking girls and pressuring them to get abortions. It does look like a good documentary and seems to reveal what’s behind the scene that hasn’t been known, though this is of course very anti – choice and that of a political and moral issue.

There is something I found to be quite a double standard and makes me question why our beliefs and support of such things can contradict and be on the opposite side of other things we believe to be the ‘way’ to go in regards to ‘LIFE’ issues. I usually hate to talk about anything political, but this observation that I have made couldn’t pass me by.

Republican’s/Conservative’s are pro-life supporters, and they also support our troops. Here’s where things get hazy. We support life here in America, but could care less about it outside of America. Our military capitalizes on the efforts to take ‘out’ the enemy even if it kills innocent lives in the process. I was watching this you tube video that is a recording of U.S troops killing innocent people in the Middle East, and they don’t even call this murder. These guys probably didn’t even get a slap on the wrist for this kind of bull shit. So we condemn killing innocent babies, but promote and support our military murdering people outside of our own country. It doesn’t make sense to me at all! It almost makes me not want to be a part of this elite group we also know as The Republican/Conservative Party. An argument would be that people support our troops and wars elsewhere to protect 'our' freedom in the U.S. Though to me, this isn't freedom, it's just more bondage when we don't blink an eye at how maybe our country is only concerned for itself because we must keep our rank in the world, regardless what this does to others outside our walls.

Its just sickening!

If you’re going to be pro-life, be pro-life all the way, not this inconsistent biased approach just for our ‘own’ kind.

Here are two movie trailers that are both Pro-life. One is about that documentary I mentioned earlier about abortion. The other one is about another documentary that is about violence and how it seems that we have forgotten what is like to be human when we support such violence.

Love Is Enough

I struggle with understanding that people who are caught up in some kind of ‘sin’ aren’t in need of love. When we 'ALL' are sinful... Love that our Father gives us freely every day of our life. Though why do we allow sin to be such a big thing that prevents us from really and truly loving those who need it the most? I see Jesus doing that with all the people he used to hang out with back in the day. He knew they were in sin, but yet that didn’t stop him from loving them and hanging out with them. I think there are a lot of Christians that give sin and the evil one too much credit, too much attention, that they can’t even see life and love, but hate and evil. They are blind, blind by their own self-righteousness. I’ve been there before, and it sucks…There’s no life in that, just dirt roads that lead to nowhere. I look at people who are gay. Just because they are living that kind of life style, doesn’t mean I can’t love them and cherish them. I was reading an article about Jennifer Knapp, who was a popular Christian artist back when I was growing up and who just came out and told the world that she is now gay. Christianity Today was holding the interview with her and they were questioning her up and down, to no end, and what did that produce? Absolutely nothing good in my book! If I had a chance to talk to Jennifer, I would say this; You’re loved by a Father who cherishes you, and I love you too just as you are…

These are prime examples of what many are stuck on. They can’t see beyond sin, and all that they find is that people who are different from them are the problem, when just maybe the problem lies with them the whole time. Yeah, Christianity as a religion and what it produces, to me is a problem. It defiles the message and who God says he is, and never leaves room for grace. My prayer is that those who need love will get it, and people who are stuck in a rut of religion will never stand a chance to do any more damage than what they have already done.

I just want the truth of God to be known through the love he has given us to share, nothing less, and nothing more.

“I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, and not as you should be, because you will never be as you should be.” --Brennan Manning

I ran into an article about Tiger Woods and his infidelity problems, and this guy who wrote the article really spoke to me in how we see someone famous who really messes up. And how we all look at this person in discuss as though we never have blown it, or don’t have compassion for those who are humiliated in front of millions of people. It would be easy for me to sit here and go, oh well he had it coming. Though, I think maybe we all have it coming because we ourselves put us up on pedestals and have the balls to laugh and poke fun at someone who messes up when, we all are just as capable to do the same mistake as he did. To me, it is hypocritical to say anything about this man, who I only know through the TV screen. I feel as though when anyone is put under a spotlight or any type of success, their life and any problems they run into will always be breaking news. Though, as this article reads, it could happen and has happened to those who aren’t in the spot light and whose lives have been humiliated by the sin they have committed because of those who don’t realize that sin is sin, and we are all prone to it, no matter how severe. I don’t believe one sin is bigger than another, because in God’s eyes, it’s all the same.

If you have time, read this article, it may touch you like it touched me….

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/25/AR2009122501440_2.html

Feared Into Believing

I am reminded today of when I first asked Jesus to come into my life. We were at a funeral, I was 7 or 8 years old. Nothing but fear pushed down my throat in attempt to get me saved so that I don’t go to hell did the trick. It was an open casket, and it was the first time I have ever seen a dead corpse. It scared the living day lights out of me, and I began to question why people die. I remember someone taking me up to the casket and telling me that there is nothing left in that body, and that their soul has gone to heaven. I then began to question this whole thing called, death. Nice people who my family knew were there. They quietly took me aside and started telling me ‘why’ death happens, and what comes next. I did the typical sinners prayer because that was the way to get saved of course and without those spoken words, ‘it wouldn’t happen’. After hearing that, I was so afraid that if I didn’t accept Jesus into my heart then, I would be the next to go, and even worse, I would end up in the pits of hell. There’s nothing like scaring kid’s to death to persuade them to do something, it works every time. After that, I was afraid of sleeping by myself, and believe it or not I was still afraid of the dark. Images of that dead body played in my mind, and thoughts pertaining to where I could end up, taunted me. I was scared.

When I look back at this time in my life, I am saddened that I came ‘to know’ my Savior through fear and guilt. I was a kid and only had a mind of a child. I was a child who cared only about playing, and discovering; a child who had years of development ahead of her. I never imagined what a huge responsibility I had in this life until that day. Until they told me that it was up to ‘me’ to take responsibility to not get thrown into hell by God. This was the first picture I had of God, that if I wasn’t on His side, I was going to hell. I heard that God loved me, but those words meant very little to a small girl who was deathly afraid of a God who had the ability to place her in hell. The bottom line was I was afraid of God himself. From that moment on until about 3-4 years ago, I never once thought this fear-based obedient Christian life was an illusion, until now.

I am heartbroken that there are many children out there that have similar stories like mine. Who came to know God through fear, not love. That in the depths of their little souls, they only want and need to know that they are loved through grace and that no matter what they do, they will still be loved by the Father. They then come to understand and know that they can love God back, not because they feel forced or feared into loving Him, but that loving Him is a choice, not a responsibility.

Learning to live loved by Father makes all the difference!

Fear-Mongering and Overheated Rhetoric

I have been towing with the idea for several days now to write a blog about the reaction I’ve been hearing about the heath care bill. I just stumbled across the words in my title in something I was reading in a news story about the health care bill. Thought it would fit in perfectly to how I see people reacting.

Let me start out by saying that I am sad and frustrated that fear has a way to antagonize and stir up people’s emotions, especially those who I care for and love so much. I feel like anytime before this year, I would have been drowned by the fear and anger that is bloating and clouding up visions across conservative and Christian view across the board and to think I could actually separate myself from such madness was never a thought until recently. Blind spots on every corner, and they don’t even see it. Growing up a Christian and knowing what to fear has really never helped me trust God more, but to be more prone to letting fear have more say in my life. The root of the problem isn’t this health care bill, and what it entails, its the fear mongering and overheated rhetoric that has escalated profoundly that has opened my eyes to what the real problem is in and among people in America, especially those who proclaim to know the Lord. Fear leaves a much bigger mark on people than love does it seems. It lingers on and on, until the subject of what is feared slowly loses its popularity or eventually dies.

I was having a similar conversation with my husband who happens to be very much into politics and seems to be very informed about what is going on. He says its not fear, but awareness. If its just awareness, then why do people have to make a huge fuss about it and instead of complaining and throwing hate around, go do something about it. I am not going to sit here and say that I think the bill is fine, when I hardly know what is in the bill, but the point I am trying to make isn’t about this stupid bill, but how unaware people are to what their reactions do to others, and it’s not pretty. The reactions that are coming from Christians I wouldn’t call Christ-like in the slightest, when all I have been hearing is anger, hate, fear, and making judgments about something that hasn’t even taken an effect. It’s purely frustrating to me. And what is worse is that fear drives people to such madness. People who I love dearly are in this crazy fear-based, overheated spin zone. It looks like this once you step out of its rhetoric and see it for what it really is. All I see in politics is if its not one thing, its another, and just to get your panties in a bundle over decisions about freedom in America that really doesn’t have to do with freedom at all, but what is of this world is a waste of time. We spend more time spreading hate and fear instead of making a difference in this world to spread love and real freedom.

All I wish for and pray for, is that people will wake up to what really matters, and find that maybe freedom isn’t just found in the constitution but take a look at the bigger picture and find that spreading this kind of chaos isn’t worth it in the end.

Lost In Thought

Today I’ve been thinking about when we move back to the states. Where we will end up. How things are going to go. It’s kinda nerve racking to think about, but definitely keeps my mind busy. We’ve been looking for jobs in and around NM, CO, AZ, UT, ID states. We want to stay close to home where both of our families are, it all just depends on the job opportunities that come our way. Recently, I bumped into a job in Albuquerque New Mexico for Jonathan working as an instructor at CNM College. He really wants to teach more than anything so I think he is going to apply for that job. I am actually really excited about the possibilities to move to Albuquerque. My brother lives there, and my parents and Jon parents are only a couple of hours away. And it’s a city. Not a huge city, but, big enough to feel very civilized, in which I’d prefer. So we shall see what comes of this if anything. It’s hard not to get my hopes up, but I will take whatever comes.

I’ve been thinking about going back to school to either finish my degree in Early Childhood Development, or I’ve been interested in Culinary Arts. I can’t decide what I would want to do. It would be a huge change for me and the workload would be a lot. Something I haven’t done in years, though, in some ways I think I could sore to the challenge as long as I am not thrown into several math classes, in which I despise. All this is just a thought in which just came to me today, so nothing but thoughts are happening at this point. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself because nothing is certain right now where we will end up. Its good to put things in their rightful place and deal with what comes first. I am excited to move back to the US though because I am ready for that change.

Costa Rica has been a great experience. Learning about different cultures, and way of life in comparison to what I’ve always known in America. It’s been a trip that is for sure. The heat is getting to me, which makes living down here not very pleasant! I was never used sweating so much! The humidity is super high and the average temps are like 90 + degrees here. My skin is constantly sticky. I just feel dirty all the time. I’m not too fond of the weather here. But despite that, moving to another country has done more for me than what I ever thought possible. It has really thrown me out of my comfort box that I used to living in, in America. Things here are so unpredictable at first and so foreign. The language barrier is a huge gap in trying to get around. I am at a point that I understand enough to get by, and that is a huge accomplishment I think. I can live in other places even if it is unsettling at first and learn about different cultures. This world is so huge, and there are so many places to learn about and explore. I wouldn’t take anything back from this experience even working at the school I was working at was an experience in which I thought was good for me at the time!

I never understood why God would put us in a work environment that is so systematically based that everything you do is monitored or controlled. Once we found ourselves escaping one system, we found God allowing us to be put in another. It’s amazing how that works, and I have thought about this for quite sometime. All the dogma and rules aren’t only found in religious institutions, but in all systems. The systems of the world run on just that. Maybe I will write a blog that will break those thoughts down even more. It’s just interesting how thats happened.

Well, that's all for now...

Freedom In Letting Go

I think I am beginning to understand how expectations on relationships can potentially destroy any health that is found in relationships. I’ve been going through some stuff that has really opened my eyes to this fact. It happens in the slightest of ways. It’s when our expectations take on more importance than others or relating in a non-selfish way. It happens too often, and I have found myself wondering why some relationships that I have, aren’t working out so well. Once I started letting expectations go in my relationships, a new profound awareness of how selfish I really was opened up my horizons. It’s really fascinating to me actually. I never thought I would really come to grips that I was the problem for the longest time in my relationships. That my expectations were held in more importance than the people I am learning how to grow in relations with. I think God has really started opening my eyes to what is actually going on here. A good friend and I were talking about this not too long ago, and how it starts when we don’t even see it. How unhealthy relationships start with our parents, our grandparents and how it makes its way up to us. It’s a profound and complex issue I think, and I may just be touching the surface now, but I think it’s a good place to start though.

Here is something my friend, Kent shared with me that made perfect sense in relation to what I am talking about here.

“People we have been in relationship with will always react to a changing of the dance. Even if they hate the present dance...it is familiar and gives them a sense of control. You don't have to attempt to change their dance directly...that would be a violation of their freedom to choose for themselves. But the simple act of you changing your dance will in effect change the dance you are in with everyone around you. Some will come to see that the change was needed and is healthy...some won't.”

If you drop all expectations, the pressure is off, and then real relationship can start to happen. The freedom I give others to be who they are and do what they will without the intrusion of my own expectations or desires, relationships will start to mold into what they were supposed to be, in a more natural form and not in forced or expected way. They may never end up to be more than a shallow relationship, but, at least this way, I am no longer feel the responsibility to hold something together that wasn’t my job to do so in the first place.

Though I feel like I have barely touched the surface on this on-going problem, I think Father has opened my eyes to how dangerous and threatening expectations are on relationships. I am releasing myself to freedom in my relationships and see them for what they really are, and not how I want them to look like.