Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Free To Speak



Have you ever been in a conversation with people, and when you feel the freedom to speak, all you get is blank stares and only hear crickets in the background? I have, and sometimes I have to wonder why…

There are times when people will come up to me or send me an email that sounds like they are wanting to open up and have a dialogue with me about deep stuff usually regarding faith and things of Father, and when I pursue the conversation there are times when all I hear are crickets. I then become confused, and wonder if my openness and realness has scared them away, or maybe I wasn’t reading the ‘signs’ correctly and they really didn’t want to hear what I had to say… I wonder why this is. I am not a pushy or scary person to talk to I don’t think. I will for the most part wait until someone will come to me and start a conversation, or people will comment on my blogs or things I put up on facebook and then will engaged in conversation… I love to converse with people, it is one of my favorite things, but sometimes, it seems like when I do get chances to talk; when I share openly and honestly about where I am, this will produce false accusations against the openness and realness that I share; and in the end causes the conversations to be no more… I have always been a people pleasure, never did I want to offend anyone by the way I thought or felt about things, so I would never ever speak my mind, and where I am just in case some would not like what I had to say… I have obviously overcome this weakness, and a fear of rejection, or I don’t think I would be writing any blogs or things on facebook, let alone this post. Here is a great passage of scripture that a friend of mine reminded me of.

The Message, Galatians 2

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that. Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

I am done trying to say all the right things or do the right things in order to gain people’s approval of me. I honestly could care less of what people think of me, but it has been a long time coming, and something within me Father had to take out for me to get me to this place where I am now. Therefore, it is for Freedom that Christ has set me free!

10 comments:

Amy said...

Nicole,
Speak your heart. I will always listen to you. I love that you are open and honest, real and authentic.

Great Scripture references too. Don't you love The Message translation?! :)

By the way, where DO you get these amazing photos for your posts??

Blessings,
~Amy :)

Nicole said...

Thank you Amy! That is so kind! Yes, the message translation is incredible. Actually Kent was the one who brought this scripture to my attention! It is fabulous...

Oh I get the pictures from the link I have up on my blog called, Devient Art.... You can type anything in there that you want, and it will come up with so many pictures that you are looking for! It is such a great site... All you do is copy the picture and them paste it where you want! I love it!

Thanks for your awesome encouragement! :)

In Freedom, Nicole!

Erin said...

I remember coming to that place. There is no explaining the feeling to someone who hasn't been there. I remember feeling like I was being self-righteous or even bitchy (Wait, can I say the b word on your blog? If not, I'm sorry.) to people.

It's a wonderful place and I bless you in it.

Nicole said...

Hey Erin... Bitch away.. Hehe! Please don't worry about that kind of thing on my blog, I could care less! :)

Yes indeed my friend! Thanks for sharing, there is a huge freedom when we let go of trying to please people, and hold on to things that are way more important...

In Freedom, Nicole!

Matthew Campbell said...

Hey Nicki,

I've had people give me crickets and I've given them crickets as well.

Sometimes I think its that people are genuinely sifting through what you said and are thinking over it. Its okay not to worry how to keep a conversation going.

When I am with my family, I don't act or think like that. Sometimes I tell them something and they don't really have anything to say. But that doesn't mean they didn't agree with or understand what I said.

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