I can't get passed this. It creeps up on me all the time. My mind is like a cage, taking me places that I care not to even mention. What else is there to do, but to be lost. To be a fallen victim of my mind. I've been held captive for so long. All I want is to be free. Its striking really to see where I was and compare it to where I am today. I want to scream for help. For relief, but its as though my cry is silent, afraid to take flight. Its like a dream, reaching for something that does not even exist. I could be in a crowded room and feel so clouded and alone. But maybe its all made up in my head, where my soul knows it not, but my mind tells it so. A raging battle between my soul and mind. Who will win in the end? Who can overcome this fight? I can't seem to see the light. When I think I see a glimpse, it has faded into darkness. I've come to a place where I don't even recognize myself anymore. My mind has become someone my soul doesn't even know. So deviated from reality, from that which I used to know to be so real and true. I've believed a lie and it feels as though I've become one myself. How is it possible to know anyone else if I don't even know myself? I have so much pain that I've become blind. I'm falling to pieces.
I'm not looking for sympathy or a sermon. I am just trying to find myself again.
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.