Identity Thief

The movie Limitless comes to mind. Bradley Cooper, who plays the main character runs across this drug that has the capacity to make him tap into the fabrics of his entire brain at one time. The basis of this movie is seeing what happens when we chase and capture mindful-wealth and material wealth. Thus, the repercussions and consequences of such choices conclude to bad outcomes. I find that this movie has great meaning into my life. One way I can relate to this story is how he struggles with his lack of motivation, inspiration and clarity in his writing career, thus leaving him feeling useless and hitting dead-ends at every turn. When I am writing, I run into these road blocks all the time. If only I could find that ONE thing that would trigger some kind of undisclosed brilliance that is waiting to pour out of me at any given time. Or if I could take a PILL that would fulfill my every need, desire and longing. Though, on this earth, I can't really believe that this is possible. Sure, its possible to find happiness with what we have and where we are, but, as much as I think I'm happy and find fulfillment in what I have or what I am in pursuit of, I have this great void in my soul for something that this world cannot give. I know from a God-knowing perspective, I haven't let God take me for who I am and be my everything. Sometimes I think my past and religious experiences growing up have tainted my perception of who God is in my life, and through this, I've lost my identity. I have forgotten who I am and where I belong. A sense of lost belonging has replaced me. But, I always go back to the reminder that I no longer live in my past, and those times no longer have the power that they once had in my life. Every time I visit there, I forget who God see's when he looks at me. Why do sour memories and recurring emotions penetrate to the surface? Feelings of shame, inadequacy, imperfection, guilt and emptiness seem to crouch on my heart leaving me suffocating and helpless. Is there any way to take back what is mine?