There comes a time in my writing
process where I need to distinguish between the searching/seeking
part in which to write, and what to record what I have found. In a
sense its like switching gears. I wonder why my curiosity never seems
to be satisfied with what is given in just one day. Most days are
dull with necessity, but I have days like today that the flow of
fulfillment and meaning in my life is unending. But, what do I do
with all these check marks and absolutes? And though each and every
part of what I am finding has meaning and connection, my problem lies
with finding ways to articulate it with simple words. When my heart
is empty or I feel alone in life, I look for meaning in everything.
This isn't necessarily helpful or good, but its what I do in order to
cope. When I am searching, I am looking for direction and a path that
I can be certain of. When I find meaning behind what is happening in
my life, I'm looking for the big picture through the confines of
words and their definitions, lyrics of songs, movies, phrases, signs.
Anything that seems to literally grab my mind from reality to
consider the possibility of what that could mean in my reality. I'm
sure if you are a frequent visitor to my blog, you were wondering why
I bombard my page with these music videos or songs. Its because I
find meaning that is expressed perfectly through the lyrics that can
only be explained through them. My meager attempt to explain always
fails and disappoints my focus. The thought process becomes
intrenched with the deep longing for direction and right perceptions.
Many of my experiences in processing information on the (right) or
(wrong) scale of things, always leaves a void because of the loud/self-critic lack of approval and acceptance that comes to the forefront of
my mind, which in the long run defeats the entire point of writing
and processing this information in the first place. Two major
thoughts that I have held onto for the past couple of weeks are: I
cannot own anybody's problems but my own. And, the past does not own
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.