Today was a pretty long day, and towards the end of the day, Jonathan came into my classroom to bring me the computer while the kid’s were taking a nap, and I asked him how his day was going. He simply said God is good. I interjected and asked, why? What happened? He replied, nothing. He is just good! I stopped and thought about it. That statement spoke to me in volumes. It seems like it is easy to judge how good God is based on what he has done for us. Or based on how we are feeling, when, all in all, He is good. He blesses us when we feel cursed, and he loves us when we feel hated. He is with us even on the worst days or longest days we go through! He was there today with me, even when I felt on the defense in my job situation all day long. It’s been rough today, and it is so easy to get caught up in how bad things seem to be, when really, they aren’t that bad, or at least not that different than how things were yesterday, yet yesterday was somewhat better. Not sure if this will make sense, but, I never understood what it meant to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Theoretically does it mean that your attitude is primarily negatively altered? Either way, that is maybe how I felt today. I am just ready to be done with this job, I feel like I have emotionally signed out for good. But I still have a month and a week left there. I haven’t been very graceful to some people at work, which I have regretted. It’s sucks to be a downer! I’m not happy when I am a downer, and I know those around me don’t appreciate it! I want to snap out of it, for the sake of those I work with all day long! I still want to find peace in finishing up this job with a more pleasant attitude. I used to have purpose to love everyone more hardcore, now it seems like I am barely getting by with somewhat of a tolerable approach. But really, the issues I have don’t have to do with the other teachers, no, it has to do with the school system itself. The way things are run, and how many just fall into place as what is expected in this system. I am just not willing to fall into place anymore. That is probably why my attitude has gone south. It’s no excuse to treat people bad though…I just need to find grace, in order to give grace…
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.