Tuesday, January 15, 2008

To Be or Not to Be

I have pondered on what it takes to be real with others compared to being honest. I think there is a difference. I think that being real with certain people may make some feel uncomfortable. Being real is having nothing to hide about what I believe in or how I live my life or what I think. Honesty, on the other hand, usually deals with how and what I believe in compared to others points of view.

I have dealt with the thought of what’s wrong with being real and honest with others in love? However, this may be risky, it may break some friendship barriers that are hard to put back together and could cause some pretty ugly fights, which I would rather steer clear from. However, if one thought they had the freedom to be real and honest wouldn’t that seem like more of a natural form of a friendship than walking on eggshells and not saying things for fear of stepping on toes? I have always tried to be an open and honest person as far as my walk with Father and what I think Father is showing me when sharing with others, but usually when a conversation like that happens, it seems like it is only one sided and I am the one usually talking. It’s funny because I catch myself just blabbing and find others just staring. “What does that mean?” I think some may find my relationship with Father and how I live my life “SCARY”. I am okay with that, but I guess I could understand why I don’t get feedback with some folks. So, another way at looking at it, is this doesn’t seem as natural as it looked after seeing some reactions to conversations I have been involved in.

SO, I have learned through some great conversations with Wayne Jacobsen and my parents and great meditation that I need to just meet people where they are and not try to force my realness and honesty on others. It is easy to get back into all that, but God’s realness really comes out when it flows un-forced and naturally. I know from experience that this can happen if I let go of the angst and just learn to be.

It’s a working progress…


Aida said...

Nicki, I understand realness to have to do with behavior. In other words. what you see is what you get. No pretending. Just being yourself.

I think of honesty as having to do with what you speak. Speaking what you think.

While I believe being real is always a good thing, honesty can sometimes be a negative characteristic if it's not tempered with love. Some people say hurtful things and then will tell you that they're just being honest.

When love is added to honesty, the recipient will not be left wounded and bleeding. Also, at times, love will say that's it's best not to say anything.

You've always been an example to me of someone who is open and real and it's an encouragement to me as I see Father developing this in my life.


Nicole's Godblog said...

Aida, good thoughts. I would agree with you that honesty is much different than being real. Honesty is a little more scary when approaching others with it than just being real and not putting people on the spot. Thank you for the nice comments. I am pleased to hear that I have been an example to you, that is great stuff!

In Freedom, Nicole!

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