Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Cynically Spoken!

I have started to think that perhaps the way I say things may sound a bit cynical and abrupt. I am not that kind of a person, but I guess my true colors start to show when I am given the freedom and liberty from Father to say what is on my heart and what I am realizing. I am not ever wanting to come across judgmental on my blog or any where else, I am just starting to see things that I have never seen before in my journey with Father and where I stand with religion and the whole nine yards. Father has really brought me a long way though, I would have probably never been as open and outspoken like this if it wasn’t for Him and what He has done in my life! I give Him all the glory…

Please forgive me if I offended or said some ill spoken words. That was not my intention. Just learning how to 'unlearn' this stuff that is so driven deep inside! With God’s grace, we are digging it out together!

Love and Freedom, Nicole!


Bino Manjasseril said...

"Brood of wipers", "white-washed tombs", "foolish Galatians"

Do those sound cynical to you?

Those are some 'names' Jesus and other Apostles used against those who promote legalism.
I am not saying we have to run around and call all legalists those names. But it is not that unusual to get angry against religion.

It is quite natural that those who were hurt by religion, speak out of their hurt. BTW, though I didn't leave a comment on your previous post, I thought it was great. You made some great points about what religion does in people lives.

Nicole said...

Thanks Bino!

Tis' True! I am just realizing how distructive religion is when you allow it to take precedence in your life! It does hurt when you realize what it actually is!

In Freedom, Nicole

Joel Brueseke said...

Hi Nicole... I can very much relate to what you're saying here! I spent two years writing articles for a church magazine, and all during that time I remember being somewhat politically correct. Not in the sense that I would go against what I believe, but yet I was being overly careful to not sound cynical, abrupt, judgmental, etc. On the one hand, I thought this was good, because I had less chance of making enemies and therefore people would keep reading what I wrote.

But on the other hand I wasn't always being completely open and honest with the full gospel message, and with what was truly on my heart, and I felt bad about that.

Now that I've been blogging openly for almost two years, I've been much more free to say exactly what I want to say, which is very freeing... but yet being vulnerable like that also opens up the possibility of offending more people.

Like you, I'm not generally a cynical person, nor abrupt, but I know that in communicating with others - especially in writing - sometimes it can very much appear that way. People cannot see your body language, nor facial expressions. They can't hear the inflexions in your voice. Etc.

When I wrote about Divine Nobodies and The Shack a month ago or so, I knew, as Alvin said, that I was opening a pandora's box. But my intention, as I stated on the blog post, was to say what I had been thinking about and then to find out from others what they thought. I sincerely wanted to hear from others about what they thought, but yet I fear that it appeared more as if I was making solid blanket statements and that I was being judgmental against one author in particular. In reality I was being very vulnerable in sharing my thoughts about what I had been through, and about the my concerns for certain doctrines that I had been exposed to, and I was looking to my bros. and sisters to help me (and one another) out by sharing their thoughts. I feel as if I turned some hearts against me in that conversation... when all I really wanted to do was to talk things out with others.

I'm still unlearning a lot of bad stuff and learning a lot of good stuff, and in the process I'm asking a lot of questions and making a lot of statements that might not fit well with others. But I'm learning that I can't please everybody. Still, my hope is that if people truly do have love in their hearts, then that love will shine far greater than any varying views we might have, and that in the end, even in disagreements, we can all remain friends. I don't mean to sound cliché, but yet it's so very true that you find out who your true friends are when you feel you've messed up or have offended them.

We're all on a journey and none of us have arrived. We need each other!

Joel Brueseke said...

Just thought I'd share this post from a friend. It's called Anyway. Some great quotes from Wayne and Clay Jacobsen.

Joel Brueseke said...

(Clarification - the quotes aren't actually those of Wayne and Clay Jacobsen, they are simply quoted in a book by them).

Joel Brueseke said...

Guess what, me again! LOL. I just wanted to echo what Bino said. While there is definitely a place for tact and wisdom in using words, I do think we need to also be blazingly bold and honest with the truth! Especially when people are in bondage to the lies of legalism.

Nicole said...

Amen, Amen and Amen Joel!

It is by far the greatest learning experience I have ever been through, that is, learning to be real and trying to understand where my heart is in all of this. I am trying to grasp the importance of being real and honest; am I doing it for attention, to be noticed by others? Or am I doing it for the sake of learning about where I stand with God and all the other things that are distractios, (religion). I know I am doing this for Father and I want to only care about what He thinks, but I don't want to close everyone out of it either. I think there might be an even line between being honest and real, and sounding judgemental and offensive.

Joel, I am blessed that you brought up those quesitons and thoughts about the Shack, and about Divine Nobodies! I understand your intentions behind it and I am encouraged that I am not alone in this fight, or should I say, struggle against religion and trying to figure all of it out. We are all in this together and we all need each other, like you said!

I am encouraged by you brothers, who aren't afraid to share your life and become exposed or vulnerable in the process; its not easy, but as we all can see, it is well worth it.

Love you all very much!

Love In Freedom, Nicole!

lydia joy said...

Oh boy, I can relate......
Here's the thing, I think you are speaking from your heart, you are passionate and that is wonderful!! You are allowed to be upset with "religion", Jesus was!!!! Don't be afraid to be wrong, that's what I have to remind myself! (Jesus wasn't always PC)
I think one of the first things I noticed when I came to a revelation of Pure Grace was I became quite verbal, ha! And now you can't shut me up! But I am learning how to speak, it takes time and it takes messing up (but remember no condemnation!!!) to learn sometimes!!!
Grace to you!!

Aida said...

Nicki and everyone,

I don't think anyone of you has ever been offensive even though people may have gotten offended. I think we have to remember that people are still in bondage and, when their pet doctrines are questioned, they will sometimes get defensive.

When speaking about religion and the hurt it has caused, I don't think there is any gentle way to do it. I know some of the things I've posted might come across as harsh to religious folks but, if we're going to speak the truth, we just have to say it.

I think, however, it's important that we separate the people involved in religion from the system itself. Although we can be hard on religion, we need to have compassion on the people. After all, we were all there ourselves at one time but, like I said, I don't think anyone of you has ever been offensive in any way.

Joel, I think you handled a sticky situation on your blog very well. Even though it feels like we're all family, there are other folks out there who read what we write and may pop into a conversation without understanding the background of the situation. Things were really going off in the wrong direction and could have become a major distraction if you hadn't brought things back to where they belong.

Anyway, I've also struggled with not wanting to appear too harsh. That old people pleasing tendency I deal with comes out at times but I've decided I want to be open and honest when I blog. I hope all of you will continue to speak the truth openly and not hold back. Reading what you all write is helping me tremendously.

Love you, Nicki. BTW, I don't think you could be harsh and judgemental even if you tried.


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