I Need To Trust So the Rest Will Come

I find myself always getting antsy and nervous right before a move. I guess I should be used to moving by now. It seems like we have moved almost every year since we got married. Though it always seems to surprise me how my reactions to things in my life never seem to change and even though the situations fluctuate, my attitude stays the same. I get nervous and anxious when Jon is looking for a new job or when a big move is happening. When I feel caught up in the moment and feel the need to want to control things when it’s out of my hands to control.

Why is uncertainty something we are trained not to embrace? Instead if feels as though we are caught up in the pulling and tugging of necessity in order to feel a sense of control in ours situations. It seems like our nature is built on the certainty and security that we seek in order to sustain some sense of control in our lives, when maybe, it isn’t in our power to sustain such security and certainty. And maybe this is not the way we were meant to live, but quite the opposite. Maybe our sense of security is not found in what happens in this world and our situations, but when we see that there is a greater need and working that is happening outside of our control.

My friend Kent said the following:

“What we are in need of is to allow the Spirit to rework everything in us. We have been so shaped to live by law and control and the spirit is the absolute opposite.”

I love where this message is leading; pure and absolute freedom. Where we are set free from being fixated on that which is out of our control and to find that we don’t need to figure everything out at once but trust Father in that which we cannot see or understand, and when we can rest from the wrestling and anxiousness that comes with this obnoxious need to be in control. Once we give way to this, it becomes extremely real, and the realm of control has lost its strength, and the scrambling nature to control things dies because we no longer have chosen to live a life outside of trust.