Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Facebook Fast

I've decided to go MIA from FB + other social media outlets for a while. (excluding my blog) I need time specifically to focus on my marriage. My husband and our life together. I'm desperate for a process in which I will find healing. In which case I will hopefully journal here, free from distraction. I firmly believe that through years of facebooking,  its become a crutch for me. Something that I depend on more than anything else. I've created Facebook to be a habit. Not to say that its wrong or bad, but a break for me from it will do me some good right now. I'm sure of it! I'll miss those who I look forward to talking with day to day, or just reading updates on people's lives. However, its only for a time. I haven't figured out how long I will be away, perhaps 40 days, maybe less. I don't like to label or put a number on this. It's not something that I am doing out of a religious conscious, but by the direction I want my heart to go for a while. Getting a fresh start for the new year I think will give me clarity, peace and a new perspective on my life. In the past several weeks, I've fallen on the way side. Been lost, confused and deceived. I'm back now, but its an uphill battle of the mind that I am dealing with now. The main problem I've struggled with is myself. I am my biggest critic and learning how to accept me for me is the hardest part. I'll get there. I just need to give myself time. Ciao for now!

5 comments:

Rich said...

Nicole,

I rejoice in your continuing awakening, one of the bravest things one can ever do is to simply allow the Wind to blow upon and in them, instilling in them and awkening in them the intense wonder of this madly in love with us, Lover.

I loved what you said here~"Getting a fresh start for the new year I think will give me clarity, peace and a new perspective on my life." That so resonates with what Father is saying and doing in my heart as well, right from the get go of this brand New Year, I anticipate more unpluggings from addictive plugins in my own life that I am not even aware of.

I know this excerpt is long but because I posted it on FB and I didn't want you to have to go there to read it, I'm including it here, as I see it touching some of the exposed nerves in both of our lives.

Relationships

Humatons define themselves through others. They are wholly dependent on what others think of them. As such, they are obsessed, above all, with their relationships, and with the Holy Grail of relationships: the love affair. Humatons, lacking all self-worth or self-knowledge or anything resembling a sense of identity, seek assurance and consolation-definition-outside of themselves, in other humatons. Their ultimate goal therefore is to find another humaton who will love them as they are and provide them with all the comfort, solace, sympathy, and support that they are unable to provide for themselves. Relationships in the Matrix are based on need and desire. They are not based on love, or even lust (though lust is often the initial factor that brings humatons together), but on purely selfish factors. Humatons seek to have their view of the world reinforced by another, and to establish a complicity whereby they can isolate themselves from the world without feeling ‘lonely.’ This complicity is based as much upon fear as on love, as as equally characterized by suspicion as by trust.
Like everything else a humaton does, such ‘love’ is only a simulation, a surrogate for the real thing, a pseudo-relationship.

Humatons use each other to reinforce their illusions, and they invent (with the help of the Matrix) concepts such as ‘romantic love’ in order to justify their hopeless egotism and infantile dependency and to disguise it as something noble, beautiful, and transcendental. Of course, love can be precisely this, and just like drugs love relationships can provide humatons with a glimpse of something beyond the ego-self, beyond the confines of the marketplace of desire. But, as with drugs, the moment humations become addicted to the feelings of love, and so become dependent on them (and humatons get addicted to everything), they are no longer using these feelings for their enlightenment, but rather are stupefied and enslaved to them. This is why almost all love-relationships in the Matrix, however golden the promise of their beginnings, end up as desperate, dreary, soul-destroying affairs. They are traps which humatons stay in, simply and wholly from a fear of being alone. After a while, a junky doesn’t take heroin because he enjoys it, but because he cannot survive without it. So it is with the humaton, hooked on ‘love’.

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