Sunday, December 14, 2008


Pain, doubt, eagerness, frustration, guilt, trapped in a world with only these. You want to get out, but you know there are risks involved if you try to escape. You become doubtful, and then you know it is hopeless because guilt becomes your next best friend when you are in doubt, and then pain is your closest brother because you are trapped in guilt. It’s a vicious cycle that has no end. Stranded, forgotten, and abandoned, you feel alone.

We go through life always finding ourselves trapped in something. Is it something that keeps us away from exploring the unknown? Is it fear that keeps us away? Keeps us trapped inside our own comfort zones? We are afraid to not be trapped. If there wasn’t pain, doubt, and guilt, what would be holding us back from what we desperately want to experience but don’t have enough courage to look freedom in the eye? To taste and see what is better than what we’ve always known.


Mike said...

Hiya Nicole

Let me pose this questions to you because I am resonating with your last paragraph but in the wrong way?

What if that thing you we desperately want to experience falls into the "grass is always greener" area?

Nicole said...

Good point Mike! Glad you came by! I guess you could look at freedom in that way. I suppose I never have simply because actually experiencing it in part of my life, especially out side of the box of organized religion has exceeded all of my expectations and imagination of what it would actually be like... Never searching for something better than this. When you know you are doing what you need to be doing and have complete contentment in that, you wouldn't be looking for anything else but that. Yeah, I have my days that don't show utter contentment, but, I truly find myself going back to where Father has taken me. Here.

Hope you find what you are looking for?!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Kent said...

Nicole, awhile back while in a conversation with someone (who is skeptical of all this freedom stuff) we were discussing freedom and using the movie The Matrix as an analogy and he asked me how I could be certain the new space I was standing in and experiencing wasn't just another part of the maritx? I told him that I had no guarantees. He didn't like that answer. People who want absolutes are afraid and are looking for a certainty that does not exist no matter how much they convince themselves they have found it. That's trapped.

I love how you expressed these thoughts in this post. It reminded me of the conversation I mentioned above. The important thing is that we keep moving and in our case we want the movement to be guided by the Spirit whom Jesus described as being like a wind that we know not from where it comes or where it is going.

Trust is the way out of living trapped. There's a big world out there full of trapped people who are longing for the touch of grace and freedom from those who are learning to live free of the traps.

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