Resisting Desolation

In recent posts, I have shared my fears about moving to a place where I will feel stuck and fear of having no opportunities for work and recreational entertainment. I gather that since growing up in a small town with no place to explore or have anything to do, I figure Grants would be much of the same.

I think God has EVERYTHING to do with this move. I was sharing with a friend about my fears and how at first I was thinking maybe God was punishing me for putting us in a place that is in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. I've come to realize God is not out to punish me or cause me grief over something like this. I find it has everything to do with Him wanting to know me more. And sometimes it means moving to places so desolate and isolated from civilization in a means to perhaps get my attention. There won't be as many distractions there, and so I figure this time there will be a time where God will be exploring my heart more deeply, as I dive into His.

I've resisted the thought of moving to this place ever since Jonathan mentioned a job opportunity there that he then applied for. This resistance is birthed from fear, and I want to get to a place where I can accept this move no matter how long we may be there, but that has not come easy for me.

One thing that has made it easier is Jonathan and I are planning a three month trip to Italy next summer. We've decided since we are living in Grants, and it will be a cheaper place to live, we decided to take next summer and go explore the world. I am very excited for our trip, and believe that God has opened the door for us to be able to travel, hence living in Grants and this job opportunity Jonathan has. In many ways, moving to Grants is a blessing in disguise. I assume that since I have something to look forward to and prepare for, living there won't be so bad.

I have a tendency to look beyond next summer, and find that Jonathan would be fine living there for years to come. That thought scares me. I don't want to raise kid's in that place, or even start a family when and if we do, especially there! But I always fixate on things that are not a reality so I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now, I just got to get my heart prepared and open for what's to come in this transition. One step at a time! Stay tuned.....