Just recently I was watching a preview to a movie that had a line that said,"There are reasons each of us are born, we have to find those reasons."
I find it very intriguing to think about what that really means on a heart level in finding my purpose, or motives to live. I don't believe we wake up one day and come to a realization that we have now come to our purpose in life or whatever. Well, I can only speak for me, but in my life, finding out who I am, and what I am here for on this earth has been an ongoing development. I would see it as more like a process in which I have gone through to really know who I am and what my purpose is. I have to say though, I really haven't gotten there, I am seeing more and more though, what Father is doing in and through circumstances in my life that depicts what my reason to live in more of a light than ever before. And perhaps it isn't just one reason, but many reasons bound into one BIG purpose... I like to think about it like this.
Every experience we go through, we learn, either about ourselves and how we react in certain circumstances, and then we are progressing to understand better of whose and who we are. We aren't born knowing these things, but through life's challenges and experiences, I am finding that I am capturing a better light on who I am and who God is inside me because in those times, He is ever so real to me, its crazy at times even to think about how God is ever so present.
Today I went on a nature walk with Jonathan. Where we live is deep in the forest so everything here smells so fresh and the weather is perfect, not too hot, not too cold. As we were walking on this trail, we ran into many dead trees, that either died of old age, or some other reason that is unknown. We were curious as to why there were many dead trees. We go a bit further and come across this huge tree that had been fully up-rooted and is now laid out across this beautiful stream. The roots of this tree were huge, and they were all now exposed. As I thought about that tree for a bit, I reflected on my life circumstances that I am going through these days.
We found out a week or so ago that we are moving to another town in NM where my husband got a job. We leave in a month even though we just got to Ruidoso like a little over a month ago. Looking back at my life and this upcoming move, I have noticed a pattern in my life that is becoming much more clearer to me. I've always had a hard time with change, and moving from place to place. Growing up, we only moved once, but only to a different house in the same area. Until I got married, Jon and I have moved a lot in the last 5 years, about 4 to 5 times. And one would think I would be used to, in a sense, being uprooted and on to move to the next place.
No, I still have a hard time dealing with change just as much as I did when we first moved. Though it seems in each new place we go, and each move we partake on, Father is making something very clear to me, that He is ever so present and moving along side me to each new place we find ourselves to be. He's made me realize that there are reason's why He has us moving so much, even if its for me to wake and realize that I am not in this alone, no matter how hard or challenging being uprooted is. He is along side me making the way for me, and to realize that deep down inside, I just got to trust, and be excited in knowing that wherever He has us to go, He will use me to show others Himself and be available to help anyone who comes across my path.
That alone is a huge comfort to me, and knowing that He is right there digging through these struggles by my side makes all the difference. To tie all this in with the purpose I find in myself, is I think maybe in order to truly be uprooted, I have to put myself in His hands and give my trust to Him fully. To let Him take me where He will, and to be okay with that and let the steam of life wash over me with His pure love. This surely is a process, but a much easier one when I am willing to stop fighting and just trust His being in my life....Nothing compares to this reason....
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.