Sunday, March 29, 2009

Intensive Longing

Pain and love have something extremely in common. They both deal with immense passion. They express longing for who is and who was. This expresses something that deeply identifies passion, an intensive longing for one who is in love and one who is mourning over one that was loved or who was loved in return. This demonstrates intense connections between two beings. Something that can never be understood for something any different than what this represents. It is a longing and expressive passion both in long sufferings and ongoing love that hinder to only those who are involved. I wonder at times if Father could feel so much longing, something so deep and intense that his entire being is wrapped up in longing for who we are to just love him back.

I am reminded when my dad died. He was someone who held a great part of my heart, as a little girl, my only hope was to know how much he loved me, and to express to him that he was someone I looked up to; but to feel like I lost that was a suffering I only grew to understand. Though, it only added to my life in immeasurable ways and I can only know now by how my Heavenly Father has loved me even when I felt I have fallen short or not have come to a perfect place for him to love me completely. However, he still does, he still happens to love me in complete and unconditional ways that can only be experienced to really and truly understand the meaning of this kind of love. Through times of deep mourning and deep passion that I experienced, I grew to understand that my heavenly Father loves me and immeasurably cares for me as my earthly Father did even in the loss that I feel. The loving and overwhelming graceful expression I remember seeing on my dad’s face is something I now see every day from my Heavenly Father.

Oh how deep the pain goes in the sight of loss and intense longing, but just as deep does the love my Father has for me that flows even more profoundly. It reaches where nothing else can. The only difference between loss and having is the present and past connections that exist. I no longer have a physical connection with my earthly daddy, but what I will never lose is a connection that I have with my heavenly Daddy who loves me and that will never cease to exist.


Amy said...

This is an absolutely beautiful post, my dear sister. I could feel the love within your words about your (earthy) father and God. I was touched by the connection you made with the pain of loss and the passion of love.

~Amy :)

Aida said...

Nicki, this is beautiful! I honestly don't think there's anything else I can say. Thanks for sharing your heart. I was deeply touched.

Michy said...

Your words instantly brought to mind a song "How Deep the Father's Love for Us..." you can listen here:

Love the pic too!

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