Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Life Stages That Are EXPECTED

I have a couple of friends who are pregnant. One friend I grew up with and have been close to for many, many years, however, I find it hard, irritating, and uncomfortable when things in life, such as a pregnancy or marriage or some life changing event can separate and categorize me differently from where they are in life. I feel like in order to measure up and relate to them I must be in the same boat as they. Right now I am not talking about religion, but about stages in life and where one is. I feel like the relationship can never be the same until I jump on the pregnancy band wagon. I am not there yet, I actually have thought about the possibility of never having children, but the pressure of this stage is so relevant that it freaks me out. Being pressured into doing something, especially if it is a huge life changing event makes me want to run SCREAMING the other direction. I find it hard now to relate to these friends of mine who are in different stages in life. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t stand the differences, but that does not make me want to ‘do’ as they do either. The voices in my head tell me, to get over myself and join the club of expectancy, and the other voices tell me to ignore and go on with life. What voice in God’s though? It is so hard sometimes to distinguish the voices. Maybe non are Father, and I just make them up as I go along. Who knows? I am pathetic. I get really edged up about this that I just want to move to Bermuda or somewhere so so far away that I won’t feel pressured or taken over by the expectancy of others. I grew up in a church that everyone was raised homeschooled and the girls my age weren’t really encouraged to go to college, but get married and raise children. That was the norm and it felt like it was expected of us. I went to college, got married, but I am not about to go have children because everyone else is having them.

10 comments:

Laurie said...

If you are at peace in your heart and with the Lord about your decisions then you need to quit worrying about what other people think.

On the other hand I'm convinced that Jesus doesn't want us all worked up about what's going on in other people's lives either. Jesus told Peter when he was asking Him about what was going to happen with John, "What is that to you, you must follow me."

Maybe there is a new level of trust and rest that Jesus would like to bring you to through all of this.

Nicole said...

Thanks mom for coming by. When I wrote this blog I was frustrated and feel out of place with them... I am now better, but, I still feel like there is a pressure to conform or whatever... Do you want to move with me to Burmuda? I heard its nice there! LOL just kidding!

I know what you mean, letting it go or at least trying....Thats the hard part...

In Freedom, Nicole!

Nicole said...

P.S Sorry if I sound harsh, but it was a release to vent, even if it was in syber space.... Us woman need that you know! LOL

Katherine Gunn said...

Hmm... my first thought (based solely on my own experience) is that the voices are probably coming from that church upbringing - those voices that tell us to conform to an 'ideal' when we are growing up are strong, indeed. For what it is worth, I believe that when it is God speaking to me, even if it is something I don't want to hear or that even hurts, there will still be an underlying gentle peace - not fear or anxiety.

As to sounding harsh. :-D You didn't - at all. You should read some of the blogs I read. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Nichole, Ive never personnally been pregnant, don't think I ever will be!!!! I'm a 50+ male :(

We have a whole bunch of people in our office who are pregnant at the moment. I think it must be "el-Nino" factor or something like that thats caused it. :)One of them said to me a while, "its so nice to have non-pregnant people around so we can talk about other things. They need the balance while the go through this phase.

Your pictures on the web all say "I'm enjoying life and having fun." Keep it that way and if or when the babies come they will be fun as well!

Blessings Lennart

Free Spirit said...

Girl, I love my children, but there is almost no decision more final than this one. So, don't dare make it under any kind of pressure. There is just no turning back!

It makes me think of what I used to say back when other young people (teens) were losing their virginity: " I can have what you have, in a heartbeat, but you can never again have what I have (virginity)." (BTW, I only said it to myself. It was my way of reminding myself that I had something really special, and not to be ashamed.)

Same thing with babies, now that you're married; you can have what they have (pregnancy) in a heartbeat, but once they have kids; there's no going back. Enjoy EVERY minute of your free time!!

It's a great thing... WHEN you're ready!!

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