Friday, July 11, 2008
I was reading one of Darin Huffords blog posts called Authentic Spirituality, it really brought several other thoughts to mind about how easy it is to get caught up in spiritual personal performance and self absorption in the midst of ‘trying’ to please the Lord, but also make a good name for ones self. That is a little twisted sounding if you ask me. I thought that when one’s purpose is to please the Lord, one is not out to get their own personal gain and attention out of it. I have tried doing things ‘for God’ and thinking, I don’t have much to offer, I have no HUGE testimonies to share of my life, I haven’t done something out of the ordinary that has a spot light on it. I don’t think anyone would think ‘my’ story is extremely amazing. But what’s more important to me is what Father sees and not what man see’s (sorry guys, no offence). I honestly don’t want that kind of attention in my Christian life with others. I would much rather have a simple down to earth conversation about Father than have it about something HUGE that I or someone else has accomplished! I also think that living for God doesn’t mean that I have to accomplish huge tasks, unless I knew that the God I served required that from me, but I know that he is simple and easily satisfied with who I am and what I do (if I do anything), and he takes all the pressure off of accomplishing huge amazements. I am a simple kind of person, or I have become simpler as I am learning how to live it more than just say it and think it! It makes me wonder how I survived the performance based reality I used to live in. Always making sure I went to church with a HUGE smile on my face regardless how I was feeling. Telling people I am great, when in reality, I was anything but great. How fake, how sad. It’s time for authentic realness in my life I am ready to dive in with all I got. I can tell you now that my life is not perfect and not pretty most of the time, but I can tell you that I am who I am by the grace of God whether you catch me on a good day or not!!!
Posted by Nicole at 10:35 PM