Friday, July 11, 2008

Think HUGE, Do HUGE, and Be HUGE……NOT……

I was reading one of Darin Huffords blog posts called Authentic Spirituality, it really brought several other thoughts to mind about how easy it is to get caught up in spiritual personal performance and self absorption in the midst of ‘trying’ to please the Lord, but also make a good name for ones self. That is a little twisted sounding if you ask me. I thought that when one’s purpose is to please the Lord, one is not out to get their own personal gain and attention out of it. I have tried doing things ‘for God’ and thinking, I don’t have much to offer, I have no HUGE testimonies to share of my life, I haven’t done something out of the ordinary that has a spot light on it. I don’t think anyone would think ‘my’ story is extremely amazing. But what’s more important to me is what Father sees and not what man see’s (sorry guys, no offence). I honestly don’t want that kind of attention in my Christian life with others. I would much rather have a simple down to earth conversation about Father than have it about something HUGE that I or someone else has accomplished! I also think that living for God doesn’t mean that I have to accomplish huge tasks, unless I knew that the God I served required that from me, but I know that he is simple and easily satisfied with who I am and what I do (if I do anything), and he takes all the pressure off of accomplishing huge amazements. I am a simple kind of person, or I have become simpler as I am learning how to live it more than just say it and think it! It makes me wonder how I survived the performance based reality I used to live in. Always making sure I went to church with a HUGE smile on my face regardless how I was feeling. Telling people I am great, when in reality, I was anything but great. How fake, how sad. It’s time for authentic realness in my life I am ready to dive in with all I got. I can tell you now that my life is not perfect and not pretty most of the time, but I can tell you that I am who I am by the grace of God whether you catch me on a good day or not!!!

11 comments:

Aida said...

Great post, Nicki. I agree. Being real is how I want to be. I've exhausted myself trying to be who everyone wants me to be and never succeeding yet it's so simple.

Father just wants us to be who we are and follow him wherever he's going and doing whatever he's doing. I've learned that's usually small in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of religion.

Giving up the striving to accomplish great things for God has been one of the best decisions I made. Now, I just look around and see what Father would have me be involved in for that day. It's an exciting way to live.

Matthew Daelon said...

Nic,

I think what you just expressed about yourself is how everyone feels, but only those who embrace God's Grace in Jesus Christ have the freedom to admit it.

I often feel what you feel about not doing anything great. I've never even had a job! I've never lead anyone to Christ. I've not done much of anything really (that my eyes can see).

But a verse that often encourages me (but used to scare me) is Matthew chapter 7 where Jesus talks about how many will come to Him saying stuff like "Lord, Lord have we not prophesied in Your name? Have we not cast out demons in Your name and done many MIGHTY WORKS in Your name?" And He's gonna say "I never knew you."

The will of God isn't about what you DO for Jesus. It's about what HE has done for YOU! Praise His name.

He also said in speaking of the separation of the sheep and the goats, that the sheep have ministered to Him in various ways and their response is "Lord, when did we do these things to You?"

But the goats say to Him when He said they didn't minister to Him, "Lord, when did we NOT do these things to You?"

Our brother Brian pointed that out to me and I was blown away.

Anyway...Have a good day, Nic. Hope to see you tomorrow night on Yahoo! Your honesty encourages me!!!

Lennart said...

Nicole, You have captured the fathers heart so beautifully. He never asks or expects us to accomplish HUGE tasks. The moment He sets any task before us He gives us the vision and power to accomplish the task. Whats more He puts the passion and love in us to want to do the task. Oh, to others when they look at what we are doing it may seem a mountain, but thats because they were not surposed to do the task, and when we reflect on where we have been we can say, how cool, my Papa helped me do that! I'm keeping my eyes and ears on Papa, now. The performance and promotion based churches are something in may past. Never again will I enter the striving to become an deacon or elder, lay-pastor. Papa is the one I am listening to. I am loving walking and talking with my Papa, its so cool and refreshing. Blessings

Tracy Simmons said...

Nicole, I can so relate to all you wrote here. Just yesterday a friend and I were talking about everything in charismania land has to be some huge, incredible, awesome thing. I'm so happy with simple now. Father's love is all I care about any more. I don't need to "produce" anything. Big sigh of relief from my corner on that one :).

Nicole said...

Tracy, thanks for coming by!

I love when that happens. When I am thinking about something or talking to someone about something and I go to blog and find some blog post that was exactly what has been on my mind! I think, how coolis that!

I've enjoyed your blog as well!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Nicole said...

Lennart, thanks for commenting!!!

I completely understand when its time to just let go and let God take control, leading something or someone doesn't do enough and there always seems to be something intense lacking!

Welcome and thanks for coming by!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Bino Manjasseril said...

Come one Nicole! You don't want to be known and famous?

I want to be famous! I want to be known! I am always looking for ways to fulfill that desires...

Just kidding...

Well, not really :)

Sometimes I do want to be famous, but sometimes I want to be small and unknown. It's just another inconsistency in me...

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