I was reading one of Darin Huffords blog posts called Authentic Spirituality, it really brought several other thoughts to mind about how easy it is to get caught up in spiritual personal performance and self absorption in the midst of ‘trying’ to please the Lord, but also make a good name for ones self. That is a little twisted sounding if you ask me. I thought that when one’s purpose is to please the Lord, one is not out to get their own personal gain and attention out of it. I have tried doing things ‘for God’ and thinking, I don’t have much to offer, I have no HUGE testimonies to share of my life, I haven’t done something out of the ordinary that has a spot light on it. I don’t think anyone would think ‘my’ story is extremely amazing. But what’s more important to me is what Father sees and not what man see’s (sorry guys, no offence). I honestly don’t want that kind of attention in my Christian life with others. I would much rather have a simple down to earth conversation about Father than have it about something HUGE that I or someone else has accomplished! I also think that living for God doesn’t mean that I have to accomplish huge tasks, unless I knew that the God I served required that from me, but I know that he is simple and easily satisfied with who I am and what I do (if I do anything), and he takes all the pressure off of accomplishing huge amazements. I am a simple kind of person, or I have become simpler as I am learning how to live it more than just say it and think it! It makes me wonder how I survived the performance based reality I used to live in. Always making sure I went to church with a HUGE smile on my face regardless how I was feeling. Telling people I am great, when in reality, I was anything but great. How fake, how sad. It’s time for authentic realness in my life I am ready to dive in with all I got. I can tell you now that my life is not perfect and not pretty most of the time, but I can tell you that I am who I am by the grace of God whether you catch me on a good day or not!!!
Not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image. -- Mona Lisa Smile
Hi! Thanks for coming by and checking out my blog. If I had to tell you anything about myself and why I write, it would be this...
I love to write about things that inspire me or captures my attention, or merely what is happening in my life. I don't proclaim to have it all figured out, but I do know this, that I am simply human that has problems and I am not afraid to expose them here. Vulnerability and being authentic is something I strive for, even if it looks ugly at times.
So please feel free to come and have a conversation with me. I can't wait to dig in deep with you!
I am learning how to live loved by God and embrace His grace that will help me fly in freedom. Let the wings of grace take me, all of me, for who I am and not for who I should be.