Why can situations turn a good day sour? It is amazing how circumstances can turn ones gladness into mourning! It reminds me of the wind and how it comes so unexpectedly, and all of a sudden the wind is here hard and strong; you don’t even see it coming. Like a loved one passing, or things that one is looking forward to, suddenly fall through. I guess having high expectations can cause a hard fall once those expectations aren’t met to the standard you set them. I have done this several times in my life, thinking and expecting something to happen and it doesn’t, then I am wondering what I did to stop whatever it was from happening. I ask God sometimes what I did to prevent things, was I not trusting Him enough? Was I using my eyes and flesh to only to see what I thought was necessary? Today was the day we were supposed to get the check! It never came. I am left in dark without understanding. But doesn’t Father tell me not to lean on my own understanding, but acknowledge him and he will direct my path?! So I have read in scripture; but wow, this can be so tough when it is actually is put to the test. I have to think that Father allowed this to happen for me to grasp what real trusting must be like in order to rely completely on him. I was reading the word today, and it hit me, I am a worry wart!
Matthew 6:25-27 +33-34
Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what will you wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own.
What else can I do but trust ultimately on Father and He will do the rest! Provide. God is my provider and sometimes that is so hard to keep on the forefront of my mind. It’s so easy to take the reins away and run for it!
I am not known for my riches or material items, not for my looks or hairstyles, I am not known, at all, but only by the one who made me, precious and rare like a field of wild flowers that turns into bloom once a year. I am nothing, but something only to God, who finds good in a girl who doesn’t have anything to give but a hurting heart that needs to be filled up by her maker and will then become renewed and full again. Priceless is my Father who cares and loves unconditionally, and understands what we go through in every circumstance.
Prison Diary: The Crookbook
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